Reconnecting with Ourselves in a Somatically Numb Culture
From the time we are kids in school, we learn to count our twos and tie our shoes. To read, to write, to solve equations and to follow the rules. To be a good student and a good kid.
Of course there is value in these teachings. Reading, writing, analyzing information, learning social cues, all these skills help us to function in modern day society.
The crux here is that while we are taught to constantly use our minds we are also often encouraged to ignore our bodies in the process. Many of us can remember a teacher telling one of the students at school to stop shaking their leg, to be less fidgety, to sit up straight and pay attention. From the perspective of the teacher this is distracting to the class, there is no mali-intent. But what we have missed as a culture is that from the perspective of the child’s body, it is doing exactly what it needs to do in that moment.
All beings have a natural bodily intelligence to move, to shake, to yawn, to quiver, to run, and to rest. This natural bodily response or intuition is an integral function to discharge and process energy. If you have a dog or a cat you are likely very aware of their constant movements, stretching and napping throughout the day. We don’t reprimand our pets for this. In fact many of us take great joy and comfort in connecting with our furry friends in this way. But somewhere down the line when it came to humans we started to demonize these natural bodily cues.
Somatics comes from the Greek word ‘soma’, which means body. Appropriately, when we refer to somatic intelligence, we are talking about the wisdom of our bodies.
Again, there isn’t any inherent problem in learning skills like reading and writing. The issue is that we often get the feedback growing up that our worthiness is connected to our ability to perform cerebral functions in school. To make matters worse, the discouragement of natural bodily expressions can suppress our connection to our somatic wisdom. When we get told our natural inclination is wrong, like moving our leg in class, this creates conflict in our being. What feels most natural to us is deemed not appropriate or safe to do. We lose trust in our most innate feeling and start to feel shame around our instinctive behaviours. As we grow up we become practiced in coming into our heads and disconnecting from the natural and essential intelligence of the body.
When we do not listen to the wisdom of our bodies for a long time, our bodies begin to speak louder to us. The energy we have not been able to safely discharge through natural bodily responses, has to go somewhere. It often shows up in idiosyncratic ways in our experience. We get more serious pains and a deeper sense of internal discomfort from not listening to ourselves. This can cause a lot of sadness and create a feeling as though our body is attacking us. The beautiful truth is that our body is never working against us- but our greatest ally. It is only that when we do not listen to its wisdom in whispers, they tend to turn to screams. Even the pains we experience arise to wisely let us know that energy is looking to be processed.
The opportunity here is that the body is looking to reconnect with us in every moment. As it can feel uncomfortable at first, there are ways we can come back to our bodies gently and safely. Some body awareness practices include yoga, qi-gong and my personal favourite- Feldenkrais. There are many others available to us. Even the impact of resting when when we feel tired, (although our minds tells us to push through) can be immediately felt. There is never anything wrong with what our bodies need, that is just story we have been taught to believe for a long time. Perhaps it hasn’t been safe, or we were chastised. Whatever the case, healing doesn’t come from blaming ourselves or others for not listening in the past- but from beginning to give ourselves permission to listen to our somatic wisdom in this moment and to start to rebuild a relationship with our bodies.
This type of healing has opened many doors for me personally. In a culture of self-help books and access to unlimited information connecting to what we need can be overwhelming. It has been incredibly empowering to have access to a wisdom that is fully present within myself in every here and now.
It is a challenging thing to reconnect with one’s bodily wisdom after so long, but also an incredibly liberating discovery. There are somatic therapies and therapists that can be of great support along the way.
The Feldenkrais Method is a beautiful somatic awareness practice that involves reconnecting to the body through small and subtle movements. Here is a free resource I have found incredibly helpful to begin the journey back home into yourself.
Warmly,
Alex
